(Or don’t need to satisfy your Ego)

Few days ago, one of my best friends has been back after a several day disappear. And I was kind of giving him a question about his absent. He blamed me that I didn’t ask him while he was not there.
At that time, I should have been sensitive enough to know that he’s been in trouble, that he is upset. But my Ego is big and I was selfish. Instead of asking him more, I started teaching him about expectation in relationship. I talked a lot until he said sorry, I was right and he wanted to tell me the reason. It turned out that someone very close to him just passed away in suffering. And I realized that I’ve just lost the chance to make my friend feel better, maybe not just once. I’m the one who need to say sorry.

I should have learned something from that but I didn’t. Yesterday I made the same mistake. I was trying to send some stuffs to Hanoi at the post office near my house but they refused without clear reason. I hate something illogical or unclear, always. Then I asked them to explain clearly or show me the document about what they say but they couldn’t. And finally, after 1 hour having arguments with most of the staffs and managers in their system, they accept to send my stuff unwillingly. I know that. I was right but probably I made many people upset and I wasted their time, also mine.

I just realized how ignorance I was after the metta meditation yesterday. For a while, I was forgetting that We Are One. That’s simple and powerful. We don’t need to prove how right we are. That’s not necessary and even stupid.

The energy of the Infinite Self is the energy of initiate. Nobody is going to understand it logically, as it exists outside those parameters. Once you begin to get it, intuitively and spiritually, you won’t be able to explain it, means that it’s a silent power. It’s knowing without speaking. It’s acting without requiring confirmation or observers. It’s doing without effort. Maybe that is dissatisfying to the ego. but it is the reality of the power.
(Infinite Self – Stuart Wilde)